"Let Your Soul Delight"

I know it has been pretty heavy here recently (emotionally, people, not physically--although that could apply as well. :) ). I can't promise it is going to be all light-hearted or funny now but I wanted a little break today from pulling out my soul, putting it on the rack and turning the cranks to stretch it out.

This scripture came to mind from the Book of Mormon 2 Nephi 9:51 where we learn about the plan of salvation from the prophet Jacob.

Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness. 

I think the Lord has a sense of humor. I know the reference here is to feasting on the gospel truth and bathing in its light but I can't help but to take the phrase "let your soul delight in fatness" just a bit more literally. That I can delight in this journey that I have been given and that there is power that will come to me by opening myself up to the gratitude and joy that have come my way from my fatness.

A few years ago, my mind radically changed regarding correct nutrition principles and one that stood out to me was that fat was good. Ingesting good sources of fat were especially important to raise my hormone levels and increase my body's fat-burning capacity. It felt like a revelation. You mean all this time I have been scraping and slaving and refusing any kind of fat and all along that is part of what was damaging my body? And making it so very hard to lose weight?

I had a palate newly born. I started to revel in good sources of fat: fish, coconut milk, coconut oil, olive oil, avocados, nuts & nut butters and animal fats like butter, lard, tallow and bacon. Immediately my hunger levels decreased and my satiation levels went up. I could do this--eat good foods--if fat was a part of the picture. Fat turns food into savory, delightful, rich, succulent dishes. And fat was born to be paired with vegetables: roasted asparagus doused with butter, sweet potatoes cooked in coconut oil, roasted broccoli dressed with olive oil, brussel sprouts sauteed with bacon. Vegetables turn into must-have foods when paired with a delicious fat. 

So, on a basic level, I learned to "delight in fatness." On another level, how do I delight in my own journey through fatness? My friend Sarah said this eloquently in a recent comment:

One brighter side to sheltering the true self in a bigger body is that it does actually create a safe haven for those who need someone they know won't judge them. There have been times when I have prayed in gratitude that people feel comfortable with me--not in spite of my physical weaknesses, but because of them! One woman in my ward confided in me about some of her deepest fears and insecurities and then leaned in and whispered lovingly, "I get so intimidated by all of the beautiful, perfect women in our ward. . . but I don't feel that way with you!" Of course she meant it as a compliment and I took it that way! (And of course I laughed and laughed until there were tears of joy and irony cascading down my chubby, non-threatening cheeks!!) I LOVE my comfortable packaging invites others to be comfortable with me!!! What an unexpected and appreciated perk it has come to be as I have learned to SEE it! 

Yes, there are perks. The ability to be less threatening, more approachable, a repository for other's secrets and fears, the ability to truly engulf people in love and warmth, and the chance to develop empathy for other's challenges. I think my gratitude muscle needs to be worked out a bit more consistently on this front. I want it to be worked out more to balance out and engulf the pain of this challenge that I too often wallow in.

I am a work in progress. And today part of that work is learning to delight. I like that kind of work.